miss me or hate me

Author: xihuansizu_
Word count: 6426
foreword

I started writing this novel on October 15th, and today is October 19th. I have completed about 22,000 words, and the first volume is considered complete.

But I wrote half of it last night, and I was confused again.

I asked myself: What is the purpose of my writing this novel?

I think there are two original intentions for writing this novel:

1. I have always wanted to write a novel for my memory, no matter what the subject matter is, I will do my best;
2. For SM, I don’t want to be in YY anymore. This is my last YY time. I plan to bid farewell to these
Everything like a bubble;

In the past two days, I have been thinking about how to write this novel well. When the number of words reaches a certain number, my thoughts become confused.

For this reason, I specially wrote some words to re-clarify my original intention and my expectations for this novel.
Expectation 1. SM: The original meaning refers to Sadism (sadism) and Masochism (masochism). When translated, the name sounds nice. Collectively refers to the consciousness and behavior related to sadism and masochism. The word “abuse” bears the brunt, it should be the most important item of SM, how to explain the word “abuse”, I don’t think I can explain it. I think most people understand and can explain the word “love”.

I think my first expectation is to find out whether I am a real M or a fake M. Do I understand “abuse”? I think I don’t understand, I only understand “relationship”, and it is different from ordinary “relationship”, it is a little extreme “relationship”.

Looking forward to 2, SM, what position will it occupy in my life in the future, should I hide it deeply, or refer to SM’s method in the future to increase the interest of life, or to be a pure M. But generally speaking, the last one is almost impossible.

Expectation 3. Expectations for the novel itself: I hope it will be unconventional and a classic worthy of collection.
The Status Quo of SM Fiction: Sadomasochism Literature. In the end, all I saw were basically articles composed of sexual Chinese characters. How can we talk about literature, how can we talk about SM.

The stereotyped sensory and sexual stimuli, and the tricks seen in the movie, have all been used, and when they are used up, they are at a loss.

You should know that SM refers to the consciousness and behavior related to sadism and masochism. Now the novel is all about “sex”
(including my own), in fact, I think everyone can try to write some stories about their consciousness and behavior, not all “sex” (but I think if you don’t write “sex”, probably no one will read it at all). Even so, I still hope that everyone will have better works, instead of unlimited reposts and unlimited “sex”.
If it’s YY, then it’s more beautiful.

If it’s desire, then be naked.

If it’s abuse, then be more painful.

If it’s love, then be happier.

Aestheticism + Nakedness + Pain + Happiness = SM

Introduction

Inscription: I think I’m a pervert, but no one knows.

WZ City, bustling streets, full of shops, I am in an unremarkable coffee shop on the corner, but the coffee is cold, but my hands are still on it, my eyes are empty, I don’t know why, I want to calm down, but I am always irritable.

From the moment I stepped into this city, I felt like a nightmare, always in a daze, trying to find some peace and quiet, but what I got was indeed noisy. Looking at the boys and girls in twos and threes on the street outside the window, and the youthful laughter brimming with laughter, I was unconsciously a little dazed, as if I was already old in my twenties.

I don’t know how long it took, it seemed to be a while, as if it was eternity again, suddenly, there was a strong feeling, the direction behind the left, the sun was shining on the sky, I turned my head, and felt that the sky and the place were instantly quiet, the air was not circulating, everything seemed to be still, and I finally saw her again.

She is like a blooming lily, standing ten feet away from the world of mortals, so spotless, with a faint smile, like a crescent moon, elegant and refined. The sunlight flowed down her hair and fell to the ground, splashing a golden color all over the place. The towering floors blocked the sunlight. Looking at her from afar, half was bright and half was dark. Many years ago, I yearned for her bright upper body, and then I realized that I was destined to breathe in her dark lower body.

I stared at her, only to realize that she had seen me a long time ago, because of that look, there was always a smile in her eyes, but I knew that when she looked at me, the contempt hidden behind it was just because of it, I couldn’t extricate myself.

I quickly went out and walked towards her. But the moment I went out, she turned around and left, and I followed her closely, even if I was in a hurry, my pace must be slow, because this is her taboo, she is used to a certain elegance, and she trained me, of course I understand. I dare not get too close to her because it would desecrate her.

I don’t know what I am to her, but I know that she is to me—the master, the eternal master, this is fate.

All kinds of past memories appeared in her mind, and she became a little crazy unconsciously. She watched her walk into a shop. About 5 minutes later, she saw a pair of high-heeled shoes that she liked. They were black, with thin roots, nail-shaped, and the toes were exposed at the toe. At this time, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I walked up and said to the waiter: She is my friend, let me try it on for her. Feeling still inappropriate, I said to the waiter again, don’t worry about our side, there are new customers over there, you go to greet them first.

I squatted down slowly and knelt down in front of her on one knee. I knew my hands were trembling a little, but I looked so steady, but I knew my trembling couldn’t escape her eyes. I didn’t look up, and I also knew that her contemptuous eyes with a smile had seen through my heart.

Slowly untie the shoelaces, with gentle hands, don’t be a little aggressive, can’t touch her skin